Published in The Haven·Dec 29, 2022Member-onlyGOP Sues Devil for Returning Its SoulSatan laments lousy sin-laden investment The lawsuit alleges that The Devil bought the Republican Party’s soul before the 2020 election, and by returning it has reneged on the deal. The Devil argues that he purchased the soul in bad faith only to discover it was far more corrupted than he…Satire1 min readSatire1 min read
Published in The Haven·Nov 14, 2022Member-onlyGOP Offers Million Dollar Reward for Information on the Whereabouts of Its Missing Red TsunamiThe reward is making waves. — The million-dollar reward has triggered a frantic search for the red tsunami that was supposed to give the Republican Party huge majorities in both the House and the Senate. The gigantic wave mysteriously disappeared without a trace during the US mid-term elections. Several theories are guiding tsunami hunters. One of…Satire2 min readSatire2 min read
Published in The Haven·Nov 7, 2022Member-onlySeven Steps to the Alice in Wonderland World of GOP GovernmentTake, for example, a proposed law to lower the price of oil by burning ballot papers. Have you ever wondered how the GOP comes up with ideas for its deranged legislative agenda? Wonder no more. Here is the plan for a new law that could hit the statute books when…Satire3 min readSatire3 min read
Published in The Haven·Oct 29, 2022Member-onlyRash of Sports Cheating Scandals Spreads to Professional KnittingA spellbinding yarn about international intrigue and double-stitching — Chess, fishing, and poker are among the sports rocked by accusations of cheating recently. Now, the world of professional knitting has joined the ranks of scandal-hit sports with allegations that the Russian Knitting Olympic team is illegally lubricating its needles. Applying lubricant to knitting needles speeds up stitching speed, a…Satire3 min readSatire3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Oct 27, 2022Member-onlyA Halloween Head-Scratcher Part 2: Is Being Undead Really That Bad?There are no dentists in Zombieland and cavities are cool — By popular demand here is the second part of this Halloween two-parter. For those who missed the first part, Red Cloud, the ghost of a native American chieftain, warns Lois to leave because she is trespassing on sacred land. Lois doesn’t get it and offers the odd trick-or-treater Tootsie Rolls…Satire4 min readSatire4 min read
Published in The Haven·Oct 22, 2022Member-onlyThe Story of Liz Truss: A Legend In Her Own LunchtimeIf you have the attention span of a sparrow with ADD, you’ll be enthralled by K.B. Cottrill’s six-page biography of British Prime Minister Liz Truss. In The Story of Liz Truss: A Legend in Her Own Lunchtime, K.B. Cottrill does a masterful job of packing the former Prime Minister’s brief…Satire3 min readSatire3 min read
Published in The Haven·Oct 18, 2022Member-onlyEmbattled British Prime Minister Bequeaths the World a New Word for Short-Lived: TrussedLife is trussed, so enjoy it while you can. The UK media is betting that Liz Truss’s time as the country’s working Prime Minister will not outlast the shelf life of lettuce, about one week.Satire2 min readSatire2 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Oct 13, 2022Member-onlyA Halloween Head-Scratcher: Do Zombies Eat Tootsie Rolls?You’d better find out before you open the front door — The trick-or-treater seemed a tad old, thought Lois as she opened the front door. But his costume was to die for. “Wow! You look amazing! The shoulder gash is so realistic with that bone sticking out. And I love the rope around your neck. How did you get it to…Satire3 min readSatire3 min read
Published in The Haven·Oct 11, 2022Member-onlyPutin to Resupply Ammo-Starved Russian Army With Secret Weapon: PumpkinsKremlin’s Operation Agent Orange is already underway The plan to replenish the Russian army’s severely depleted stores of ammunition with pumpkins is outlined in a top-secret US intelligence report. “At this time of year pumpkins are plentiful and cheap. And they will become even cheaper after the Thanksgiving holiday,” the…Satire2 min readSatire2 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Oct 7, 2022Member-onlyA Plea From Plastics: Don’t Let Fish Ruin Our OceansEarth faces environmental catastrophe without plastic — Dear Misguided Consumer, Vicious stories about plastic waste polluting your oceans and threatening the very survival of Mother Earth are circulating around the globe. It is time to put the record straight before the real villains — fish — wreak environmental havoc. There is no more awe-inspiring sight than the…Satire3 min readSatire3 min read
