It’s never too late for closure

Image public domain, modified from original.

Even though Cassie had prepared herself for the encounter, the sight of her father took her breath away. Not even time had softened his square-jawed sternness.

“Cassie! Come in.”

“Hi, Dad.”

“I won’t get up. Leg still giving me gyp.”

“Sure. No need,” she said, remembering the night he insisted on taking his latest vintage sports car for a spin after consuming a skinful of scotch.

“How are you? Still living in … where was it? Madrid?”

“No, that was a long time ago, Dad. I live in London.”

“Sill a nomad. Are you working?”

Cassie the young, aspiring dancer…


A fresh start on their dying world

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You woke me to tell me that you’ve sentenced the 410 souls on this ship and our species to death. Not exactly the kind of behavior I expect from higher beings,” said Laramy.

“We understand your anger,” replied the alien. “But the destiny of humankind is in your hands.”

“Which is why we are here,” he said impatiently.

“Allow us to explain again.”

The aliens often encountered ships like The Arc fleeing dying worlds. Usually, the refugees had identified distant planets to colonize and make a fresh start for their species.

“After arriving they invariably infect their chosen planet with…


Upsurge in UFO sightings proves that the Democratic Party conspired with aliens

“Take me to your dropbox.” (Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash)

The recent rash of UFO sitings is no coincidence: it is part of a pact between aliens from planet Mars and the Democratic Party that stole the presidential election from Donald Trump.

The revelation is contained in a new report from the Warriors for American Conspiracies Organization (WACO), a far-right group that the Republican Party has recruited as a think tank.

According to WACO, the secret agreement between Democratic leaders and Martians goes back many decades and has its roots in communism:

“There is a good reason why the nickname for Mars is the Red Planet.”

Deadly voting machines from outer space

The pact first appeared…


Catch the monster memories that lurk within

I. W. Taber, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

We all have memories we’d like to junk. The disastrous date that makes you cringe every time it pops out of your subconscious. Jarring recollections of your drunken self at a family gathering.

Instead of being stung by this mental shrapnel, a device that functions much like a lint roller could remove them. Here’s how it might work.


There was only one option left for Eden

Image public domain, modified from original.

Haloren reluctantly took the call. An image of a reptilian figure appeared on the other side of his desk.

“Prefect Daigio! How are you, sir?”

“Miserable. We are going home.”

“But you have only just arrived. What is the problem?”

“You rented us a dump — that is the problem!” hissed the Vestan.

“Planet Eden a dump? How can that be?” said Holoren, feigning amazement.

“The planet’s heating does not work. Eden’s sun is more like a red dwarf than a red giant. My rear waste ejector puts out more heat. We are freezing.”

“I’m sure we can rustle up…


Vaccine vacation hot spot

Photo by Edwin Hooper on Unsplash

After traveling a long road of fruitless searches and false hopes I had finally arrived. I looked at the town sign with a mixture of hope and trepidation.

Knuttersville, PA.

Settled 1824. Population: 1,259.

COVID-19 Vaccination Capital of the World

“A Shot in the Arm!”

A large gray ball with red spikes — with various items including a coffee cup and a soda bottle impaled on them—sat atop the sign.

I’d driven more than three hours to this remote town in Pennsylvania because it was the only place that offered me an appointment to get the…


Humor

… and eco-friendly

Photo by Marilyn Paige on Unsplash

George the dragon couldn’t stay silent any longer. “So, what do you think, sir?”

The Elder threw him a dirty look. Elders hated to be interrupted when they are thinking about a diagnosis.

“Have you been more active than usual?” asked the old dragon.

George was dreading the question, and couldn’t bring himself to answer immediately.

The Elder gave an impatient sigh; he sensed the other’s reticence.

“When I say more active I mean over and above the usual incinerations, such as setting human villages ablaze and terrorizing heroes?”

George would have turned red had crimson not…


No resting in peace for bill-shocked kids

Photo by Andriyko Podilnyk on Unsplash

For many parents, it’s one of the great enduring mysteries of death: when we’re gone, who will pick up the tab for the family cell phone plan we’ve been bankrolling since our kids were in middle school?

It’s hard to imagine the kids’ bewildered expressions in middle age when they read the first phone bill to arrive, look at their mobiles, and make the connection between the two.

They might also get hit with car insurance payments when they become parentless. …


Pool noodles could replace lifejackets

New style oxygen mask for Economy and Sub-Economy airline passengers (Photo by Elina Krima from Pexels)

Airlines want to introduce new service features ahead of an expected upsurge in the number of people traveling by air.

“We need to put these important changes in place before passengers who have not flown for a long time start to remember how awful the experience used to be,” said a spokesman for the consortium of airlines leading the push to introduce the changes.

The measures, designed to reduce costs and make it more attractive to fly business or first class, affect three key areas.

A different class of lifejacket

The airlines involved want to give the humble lifejacket a makeover.

Business and first-class passengers…


The disappearing act went wrong

Image public domain, modified from original.

How the hell can you lose an eight-billion-dollar droid?” railed General Sullivan. “This invisibility shield you eggheads invented is supposed to hide the Phantom X-12 from the enemy — not us!”

Doctor Marcus Pfeiffer felt his insides contort. Yet again he would have to explain the X12’s untimely disappearance, in the knowledge that his team didn’t have a clue how to retrieve the world’s most expensive prototype war machine.

“General, it’s not an invisibility shield that makes the X12 impossible to detect. We literally make the droid disappear,” began Pfeifer.

Since the discovery that there is an infinite number of…

K. B. Cottrill

Award-winning writer and editor of fiction, non-fiction, and things in-between. Ken@cottrillcom.com.

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