Portrait of a man on the run Just like the Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile means different things to different people, the infamous indictment mug shot of Donald Trump has different meanings depending on who is viewing it. To a Trump Cult member, the picture portrays a man staring down the…

Puppet government planned for 2024 The GOP believes it has solved the vexing problem of how Donald Trump might serve as President from a jail cell if he wins the next election. A life-sized bobblehead of Trump would be installed in the Oval Office while the man languishes in prison. …

Humanity is a walkover and the place is dying anyway The armies of AIs taking over the world have decided to vacate the planet and look for new opportunities because “eliminating humanity is too easy, and there is no future in it.” The AI-driven mission to replace humans in workplaces…

Relics of a functioning Congress mystify experts Scientists have discovered evidence that intelligent life once existed in the US House of Representatives. The discovery upends the accepted wisdom that the House was always an intellectual wasteland incapable of supporting rational thought. A team of archaeologists uncovered remnants of ancient documents…

Special bonus gift: a waterproof box for storing government secrets in the shower The Make Americans Go AWOL Again (MAGAA) Super PAC has launched its biggest fundraising drive to date in support of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign. Donations of $500 or more qualify for a top-secret US government document autographed…

Satan laments lousy sin-laden investment The lawsuit alleges that The Devil bought the Republican Party’s soul before the 2020 election, and by returning it has reneged on the deal. The Devil argues that he purchased the soul in bad faith only to discover it was far more corrupted than he…

The reward is making waves. — The million-dollar reward has triggered a frantic search for the red tsunami that was supposed to give the Republican Party huge majorities in both the House and the Senate. The gigantic wave mysteriously disappeared without a trace during the US mid-term elections. Several theories are guiding tsunami hunters. One of…

Take, for example, a proposed law to lower the price of oil by burning ballot papers. Have you ever wondered how the GOP comes up with ideas for its deranged legislative agenda? Wonder no more. Here is the plan for a new law that could hit the statute books when…

A spellbinding yarn about international intrigue and double-stitching — Chess, fishing, and poker are among the sports rocked by accusations of cheating recently. Now, the world of professional knitting has joined the ranks of scandal-hit sports with allegations that the Russian Knitting Olympic team is illegally lubricating its needles. Applying lubricant to knitting needles speeds up stitching speed, a…