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Airlines to Charge for Reading Lights, Toilets, Tray Tables, Oxygen
Pool noodles replace lifejackets for basic economy class
Airlines want to introduce new service features ahead of an expected upsurge in the number of people traveling by air.
“We need to put these important changes in place before passengers who have not flown for a long time start to remember how awful the experience used to be,” said a spokesman for the consortium of airlines leading the push to introduce the changes.
The measures, designed to reduce costs and make it more attractive to fly business or first class, affect three key areas.
A different class of lifejacket
The airlines involved want to give the humble lifejacket a makeover.
Business and first-class passengers would be given a new model lifejacket equipped with built-in TV, wi-fi, and a minibar. Instead of floating aimlessly in the ocean waiting to be rescued after a forced landing, passengers could watch their favorite TV shows and check e-mail. The hi-tech lifejackets also broadcast tunes and commercials that sharks hate.
Economy and sub-economy passengers would find government-approved pool noodles under their seats instead of traditional lifejackets. The noodles are guaranteed to keep…
